Egads, what is that thing?!

So last night Izzy is tootling around on the floor, you know, doing baby things, when I see a little black fuzzy something on her face.  It looked like mascara goop, only Izzy doesn't wear mascara because it's not age appropriate.  I go to pick up what I think is a lint ball when I notice that it has legs...eight of them.

It was a SPIDER!  On my BABY!  ON HER FACE!

Needless to say I killed it.  Crushed it with my bare thumb and forefinger, because it was too small to use my whole hand.

I picked her up and have been eying the floor with suspicion ever since.

"My future's so bright, I gotta wear shades."

We got Izzy some sweet sunglasses...you know...for the future.

 

 

Someday the sun will return, and we will be prepared.

Old Spice

I love the way it smells, and I love the way it sells. 

Dibs!

So being married has a lot of perks, but not everything is gravy. Now, licking food is in no way a guarantee that I will be the one who gets to eat it later. Matt is pretty cool, though, and if I've announced I've licked something he usually understands my reasons. But I know that he could eat it if he really wanted, because eating food licked by other people is just something families do, right?

It's all in the sleeves...

I've decided that I ought to wear puffy sleeves more often. They are excellent and (somewhat) discreet places to keep all sorts of tiny things, like tissues or gum. Plus, pulling something out of my sleeve makes me feel like a magician.

How could I not know?

I've been watching Jeopardy ever since I was knee high to a grasshopper. I love it because I can shout out any answer I want and if I get it right I look smart. The only time this doesn't work is when it's a sports category and Joe DiMaggio is never the correct response because it turns out they were asking football questions or something. (This may or may not be a personal experience, but whatever.)

So I was watching it with my husband the other day when he says, "Alex Trebek is a weird guy." And you know what? He was right! Alex is an awkward fellow, and I can't believe I never noticed before. Just the other day one of the contestants mentioned how she was studying journalism and was interested in chronicling the experiences of different rock bands and Alex responded with, "We know you just want to be a groupie." He just kept saying the word "groupie" and I cringed inwardly every time.

So now every time I watch Jeopardy, I'm just thinking, "Why, Alex? Why?" And of course I'm also hoping that Joe DiMaggio will be the right answer for once.

Mystery from the cupboard

I don't know what kind of jam this is, but it is soooooo gooooood.

Some kind of berry, I'm guessing.
Thanks, Mom!

"I'll snatch you bald-headed!"

This has recently joined the ranks of my favorite expressions, but I have not yet had the opportunity to use it. :(

Oh, Olympics, you so crazy

I've been skiing once, so I feel qualified to talk about the winter Olympics. Also I have been ice skating before, but this isn't about that.

I have a new favorite Olympic sport! It is not one that I would participate in and apparently a lot of Americans feel this way since we kind of suck at it. Also it is somewhat boring to watch at times, but the concept makes me happy. Do you know what I'm talking about? I'm talking about the Biathlon.

The Biathlon is a combination of cross-country skiing and, um, rifle shooting. Rifle shooting! Ha ha, how great is that?!

Here's a basic rundown of the sport, just in case you aren't up on it: Contestants ski a cross-country track that is interrupted by shooting stations, half of which must be taken in a prone position and the other half standing. For every miss, the skier must take a penalty lap.

According to Wikipedia, the sport has its origins as a training exercise for the Norwegian military. Another reason to love Norway (the other reason being Roald Dahl)!

When these guys cross the finish line a lot of them fall over because they are so tired. Yes, I like that part too.

So today was quite pink.

Valentiney cookies




Valentiney baby


Valentiney us

...thus saith the Lord!

We have been making our way through the Old Testament as a family and have made it all the way up to Jeremiah so far. Every once in a while ("once in a while" meaning pretty much every few verses) a verse will say, "thus saith the Lord" and then I'm lost. My mind is far away with the movie "The Prince of Egypt," and in my head I'm singing the plague song only I don't know really know the lyrics so it goes like this:

"thussaiththeLordthussaiththeLordthussaiththeLordthussaiththeLord
...Once I called you brother; something something something here go words; all I ever wanted! thussaiththeLordthussaiththeLordthussaiththeLordthussaiththeLord
...Let my people GOOOO!"

So I'm lost to the world doing this, except then I hear the phrase again and then the whole thing starts over.

Here is the actual song for reference, just in case you are a heathen!! and don't know what I'm talking about. That's right...Mom.

"It's a trap!"

I wear drawstring pajama pants to bed on a regular basis. Sometimes when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, the drawstring part becomes tangled and I have a mild moment of panic as I realize that I am trapped in my pants. Fortunately I have always been able to get out before any damage has been done (i.e. being forced to use my Hulk strength to rip my pants off), but does this ever happen to anybody else?

Bonus: 5 cool points to the first person to put a name to the quote in the post title. Up to 3 cool points for secondary guessers with inventive albeit wrong answers.

sick day

I'm not sick, but Matt is. He took the day off to recuperate, so I made hash browns and scrambled eggs for breakfast and then we watched mooooovies. I can't not watch a movie going on in my home if I haven't seen it before (read that twice, and then maybe it will make sense), and therefore I did not get as much done as I would have liked to. But hey, movies! Also, they were Clint Eastwood movies recorded off the TV - "A Fistful of Dollars" and "A Few Dollars More." They're the first two films in Sergio Leone's Dollars trilogy, with "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" being the piece de resistance (say it in French!). We'll get to it eventually.

For dinner we had gumbo with cheesy bread. I even used Gouda instead of Cheddar, so that made it special. I don't know if gumbo is one of the healing soups, though, so if Matt becomes suddenly healed it is probably because of the cheese.

Also, my baby pulled my hair a lot but I made her pay for it by blowing raspberries on her stomach. We're pretty much even.

All in all it was a pretty good day.

("Pew pew!" That is the sound a Western makes.)

eeeeeeee-mail

Today I received an email response from somebody who is internet famous AND Canadian! Woohoo!

It went down like this:

Subject: Who were those guys?

Me: Ryan North! I had a dream with you in it the other day. We were eating miniature turkeys and trying to remove all six removable bones. There were four other dudes at our table, but I didn't recognize them, so they're probably folks you know. Just thought you'd like to know about this.

Ryan North: Man, I thought they were friends of yours! How EMBARRASSING.


So basically it was awesome.

cookies!

So sometime this week I'd like to make Valentine's cookies to distribute to people I love, because Valentine's Day is all about delicious things to eat, and also people you love. However, as of today I do not own a heart-shaped cookie cutter, and if I don't find one by the end of the week all of my cookies will either be ducks or something Christmas themed. That is a best-case scenario, assuming I can get the cookies to be any shape at all. Ooh, ducks riding in sleighs! That is a distinct possibility.

internet arguments

So, I've pretty much always been of the opinion that arguing on the internet is a bad idea, because even if you win you sort of also lose. But what if someone gets up in yo' face and leaves trash in your comments and scuttles your boat? Do you lay the smackdown or what?

Since I'm pretty sure that my posts are too vanilla to raise anyone's ire, I've never experienced what I've heard called the ever-ominous internet "troll." Probably the most inflammatory comment I could get would be something like, "Your baby is ugly!" to which I would respond with a prompt rebuttal of "LIES!" and that would basically be that.

So internet-trolls, don't expect to get a rise out of me. Most likely I will just ignore you; at best I will be delighted to get a comment on my pathetic little corner of the interwebs. I guess that's what I'm saying. Everyone is welcome here!

...Except for spambots. Those guys aren't human and therefore deserve all the smackdown I can muster.

injury prone

So I cut my hand on a cardboard box the other day. Today I cut my finger on the laundry detergent scooper. I swear, I could hurt myself on jello.

hairy situations

The last few days I've been practicing French braiding my hair. I'm kind of really bad at it. However, I do have a girl baby, so there may come a time in her life when this skill will be useful, so I'll keep working on it. By the time she has enough hair to fiddle with hopefully I will be good enough not to embarrass us both.